Friday, September 16, 2011

Banish Fault Findings and Welcome Endless Possibilities in Life


I am absolutely drooling over the accounts of Madhav, Pankaj and Ram.You are honest people,professional to the core,and your life is a success not because what others think or don't think about you, but because what You feel about yourself. And I'm very happy to note that all the three of you think so well of yourself. Cheers,man, for that brave attitude!
And, this attitude is somewhat rare these days.We tend to endlessly compare ourselves with others and endlessly crib about our situations.Infact,with utmost respect to the author of the conversation with a visiting NRI,I thought the Indian fellow was being unnecessarily patronizing.We make certain choices in our lives and it'll be foolhardy for anyone to make fun of us for our choices.Sure,it is beautiful to care for our old parents but it is in bad taste for being made to feel guilty if for some reason we are unable to.Further, how many people in India in our situations are actually looking after their aged parents.
So why pick on the NRIs!
Further, the whole concept of sticking to your motherland, warts and all,is illogical. People will certainly migrate to better opportunities,as per their understanding of a "better" life. The history of the world is a history of migrations.Haven't we in India migrated to cities here for precisely this reason.In this age of instant communication,we truly live in a global village and, frankly, we are quite well off wherever we may be.And its important to be happy with who and what we are.Certainly dream and be hungry for success,whatever your definitions of success may be. But be happy in this very moment because this moment is All we have.
The real challenge before all of us is to synergize our resources for the hungry, the diseased and the dispossessed. And in our endless cribbings,we lose all focus and all energy for anything worhwhile happening in our lives.But that is another story, another time.

Best regards, Avinash
From: Saty Madhav

Would this have been possible in India with just £20??

Anyone who remembers me from the days of Varanasi will know of my ideology , thoughts, and views especially of my close associate and work with Satinath sarangi throughout the five years.with great reluctance I left the shores of India. My parents had a very modest income as an ordinary government employee intact half his income was going towards my education.
I left the shores partllybecause I fell in love and partly to repay my parents at the earliest.
I don't think if I was in India I would have been able to. Here in India despite some racial discriminiatio I was able to study and work ( for a while with zero cost to my parents)
I landed in uk with only 20 dollars in my pocket.!!!!!
Inone year I studied and worked at the same time.
Decide that I can do business without family connections or any influence. Be my own boss as I just couldn't suffer being a subordinate to any one even it's at the board level. So did it with less than 100 in capital.
In one year had my own home. Soon sent my kids to private school even though free education was available. They are now graduating as doctors. Paid for private health care when the best free health care was available in nhs.
Joined various charitable organisation like Rotary and freemasonry( it's not an elitist group as in India).
I provide my parents with their own home in just 3 to 4 years after living home in their name which they could call their own for the first time in their life. I wanted to do it before they became too old when they were still working. They were given the opportunity to live me here in uk but chose not to. Dad came once and wanted to fly back home straight.They died 15 to 20 years ago without ever visiting my place properly. Or saw what I did and my success..

Yes I miss India with all it's failings and positives. I miss my south Indian food having married a guju. I have a wide social circle of Indians and whites in equal measure.
I don't mind the traffic ( it's the same everywhere) it's just more orderly with respect for others. I live in a society where every one is respected as an individual. There is more civic sense and pride. Respect for surroundings.( don't even get me into moral valves).

I don't think in India it would have been possible with just £ 20 no influence or connections in such a short time of 2 to 5 years.

Traffic powercuts etc are minor inconveniences one can do without and get used to and that exactly is the problem getting used to . "Chalega and hojajaga"is the Indian eqvivalent of the can do attitude that prevails in the west.

All said and done nature has implanted in my breast an indissoluble attachment in my breast to the land that has given me birth and infant nurture.
One day I hope to return but first it was the children and I guess later it will be grand children that will hold me back.
Would all this have been possible with 20 rupees in your pocket in India? That is why west is an attraction not the negatives of being a NRI.
That fellows is my take.

Saty Madhav

On 15 Sep 2011, at 02:13, "Yadav, Pankaj (GE Intelligent Platforms)" wrote:

I did not want to say too, earlier lest it should sound like gloating, but material benefits aside, there are couple of major things I like about living in the “West”…..

1. Much less day-to-day stress: “Aaj bai nahin aayi”, “maid gaanv chali gayi”, no guarantee that electricity will flow, when you turn on the switch, or water will run, when you open the tap.
Another short story: I’ve always loved watching Wimbledon tennis on the telly. Once, when living in Delhi, I came home from work with great anticipation, to watch the Wimbledon quarterfinals, only to find there was a power cut. No problem, I had a generator. Tried starting it, but it didn’t have petrol. Went to the petrol station with a can, but the guy there wouldn’t fill it, lest I should try to light myself up with it! Anyway, got the petrol after some pleading, and started my generator…..only to find the cable operator had no electricity either!
2. From an ideological perspective – as Avinash would understand – I always felt like a feudal parasite in India… comfortably off the misfortune of my poor kaamvali, maid, istriwala, rickshawwala…..etc. etc. I felt guilty.

As far as looking after parents goes, my father, 81, and my mother, 79, have both been living with me here for the last 11 years, even though they own a house in Delhi, where my brother stays with his family. My parents have become Australian citizens and actually prefer life here! Great for my son, now 21, too.

On the negative side, yes, no doubt, the biggest thing I miss is the food. I don’t think there’s any place in the world with better food than India. Also, I won’t call it racism, but as an Indian, one is certainly somewhat of an “outsider” here (you don’t quite, intuitively, understand how things work here – as you would back home)……but this doesn’t apply to our kids. But then in India too, the caste system still exists, and there is social discrimination at various levels.

I also feel that the Westerners are plundering the wealth of the world by spreading themselves all over the globe, and would love for us Indians and Chinese to remain in our increasingly more populated ancient homelands, while they live comfortable lives off the resources of lands that do not belong to them. I don’t see why we Indians and Chinese should not share this loot, and not let the Westerners continue to enjoy by themselves, while we live off increasingly diminishing resources!

At least I have taken my, and my family’s, burden off the already over-stretched resources of Mother India!


From: [] On Behalf Of Ram Vemuri

As can be the only case, a generalization based on someone's perceptions and not necessarily even answers to real questions. Many of the answers are way off the mark especially for Indians settled in the US. The ethnic Indians working the US are the richest group, and it has been shown that the average income of a person of Indian ethnicity is not only higher than that of other minorities, but also higher than that of the average majority (Caucasian).

This type of writing may be fun to read for some, but doesnt necessarily reflect the truth. I myself am a single earner in my family and we (my wife and I) made a conscious decision that one of us would do the bread-winning and the other would take care of the feeding. I have several Indian and non-Indian friends who have also made the same decision and we are leading a comfortable life. Does not mean that if I were in India I would not be leading a comfortable life, as so many of my classmates are live examples of that.

Taking care of aging parents is not a problem only of those that are living abroad but also for those that are living away from their parental places. I know of many cases in India where the aging parents are in their home town while their children are making a living in some metropolitan city where they can earn more and are not available to take care of their parents in their time of need. How many of us are still living in the same town as where we grew up and are close enough to our parents' homes that we can see them and take care of them. I consider myself lucky that my parents came and lived with me and my father passed away in my home in his bed, and my mother continues to live with me taking care of her grandchildren and enjoying their company. What this shows is that when parents reach a certain age, if they are not willing to leave and live with their children, their fate is the same whether the children live 2000 KM away or they live 10,000 km away.

Problems of taking care of aging parents is a world wide phenomenon and no culture/country that is focused on technological progress can be spared from it. Every country and culture has its problems we make our choices based on what is most convenient for us - getting admitted to a school or traffic may be a big problems in India. Getting authentic Indian food and facing some amount of racism and possibly even traffic may be the problems in some other countries. Things change and we make our decisions based on the information that we have at that time.

Just thought I would share my 2c with you all.

On Wed, 14/9/11, Yadav, Pankaj (GE Intelligent Platforms) wrote:
From: Yadav, Pankaj (GE Intelligent Platforms) Subject: RE: [IT-BHU-BatchOf1982] Fwd: A typical conversation with a visiting NRI To: Date: Wednesday, 14 September, 2011, 9:05 AM

I am not exactly an “NRI”. However from the point of view of “Self” in the piece below, I would be……

Well, what can I say! I wish I could say “Self” is right, in which case, I would pack my bags and rush to India straightaway. But I don’t! Enough said.

I suppose, as with most things, it’s a matter of perceptions and points-of-view.

If you talk to most Indians who continue to stay in the West, a lot of them will tell you, that their most important reason to stay in the West is the future of their children.

Let me share with you a small part of my story:

Till about 20 years ago, I too was not too keen to leave India. So much so, and as Pramod Misra would corroborate, he and I had decided not to even write GRE or GMAT during our final year at BHU-IT!

Then came my son, in 1990. When he was about 2, well-wishers suggested that I’d better get his place reserved in a good school. So I got an enrolment form for the kindergarten at the Delhi Public School at Vasant Vihar, for a class that was to start in 2 or 3 years’ time, and filled it up. On the due date, I reached DPS, Vasant Vihar, to find about 1,000 middle-class, apparently well-educated folks like me, all milling around to submit their forms – competing for the 30 or so seats that were on offer. There was no queue. At the appointed time, the window of the office opened to accept the forms, and all hell broke loose. There were scuffles, totally uncouth behavior by one-and-all, and a scene that resembled more a pride of hungry lions fighting over a dead deer, than one from an urbane society on a warm afternoon!

This was just to get my 2 year old enrolled in a kindergarten 3 years later!

Our immigration to Australia had already been approved by then, but my wife and I had been reluctant to go ahead with it. The next day, having abjectly failed to lodge my form at DPS, my wife and I were making our way quick smart to get our medicals done for Australia!


How true or untrue is the following "typical" conversation? Since this was a forward, I thought I would take everyone's opinion!!

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